Gilmore Girls

 My Review of Gilmore Girls.  By Jay, Age 23.

Gilmore girls is a very interesting show!!! It revolves around this child prodigy named Rory who has a larger than normal forehead .  Rory has a really HOT mom who I will call Mrs. Gilmore.  Well these two so-called Gilmore Girls live in this small town in New England and they pretty much shoot the shit all day long.  The mom works in a hotel thing and she makes cakes and stuff.. and then theres Rory (what kind of stupid ass fucking name is that) who goes to school and stuff and romances boys.  Rory has this korean friend who looks like her name should be “Keiko”.  Keiko always rides a fucking bike everywhere.  It’s like her mom doesn’t give a shit about her cause shes always riding around town with a big ass grin on her face late at night.  Keiko also wears these trademark glasses in every episode.  What a tool.

FIGURE 1: MMMMMMMMMM SEXXXXY!

So anyway, Rory is always talking about this guy named dean.  I never actually saw dean before but I bet he looks like a metrosexual.  I imagine dean has long hair that gets into his eyes and he constantly has to throw his head back or wipe his hair from his face.    But yeah Rory doesn’t really shut up about this Dean guy.  She should just get it over with and suck him off when Mrs Gilmore goes to the restaurant.  Which reminds me..

There’s this restaurant.  In the restaurant there is this homeless looking guy working there that wears a flannel shirt and he has a backwards baseball cap.  His name is something short and cool like “Ron”.  Everytime Ron appears in the show he is wearing the flannel shirt and the backwards baseball cap so i’m assuming he really doesn’t have a lot of money. He also doesn’t shave.   So apparently Mrs Gilmore is turned on by that, cause she’s always coming into that restaurant while this “LALA” song is playing in the background.   It is here that they usually talk about coffee, orange juice, flannel shirts, windows,  or sunlight at a real fast rate of speed.

So back to the hotel restuarant thing.  There is this fat lady that looks like she should be named Sally.. Sally randomly jumps out of kitchen cabinets or something and is usually wearing pig tails.  She is like the chef I guess cause she is always wearing white and carries food which she probably samples a lot with her fingers.  She usually has this big smile on her face and she sort of says a couple sentences and leaves usually in a hurry.   I don’t really know why she is there actually.

Did I leave anyone out?  What a great show!

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19 Responses

  1. Grarg. Well, you already know how I feel about the Gilmore Girls. I won’t try to defend myself or the show, cuz I know I’ll get eaten alive if I do.
    I’ll just go cry quietly in the corner now.

  2. I know. I thought of you when i wrote this. i’m sorry but it had to be done. I still love you forever talea.

  3. I never watched it. When I would try it seemed like all the “girls” did was get melodramatic with each other over stupid shit. It was like a big show of girls complaining. I don’t need to watch that.

  4. Stupid ass TV shows…

  5. I love how you took the most irritating part of the show (the super-fast-talking), and totally wrote it like that (super-fast-this-dude is on speed-writing-style)..you are a true “artiste” 🙂

  6. Each time I read this, I cringe. I want to correct all the names, everything you have wrong, and point out how much I’m truly in love with this show.
    But I won’t.
    I’ll try to hang onto my dignity a wee bit longer.
    Write another post dammit! So I can move on!
    Hahaha. I’m a loser.

  7. thank you romi… its all about the run on sentences.

    and talea: you aren’t a loser.. You just have really bad taste in tv shows… just messing with you. 🙂

  8. I always thought it was just me who thought Rory had a larger than usual forehead. But seeing as you recognise as well, I can sleep easy once again.

  9. If I had someone like Sally do that in my restaraunt, I’d be fucking pissed.

    Loco

  10. Jumping out of cabinets and taking up space, I mean…

    Hey, Happy Thanksgiving!

    Loco

  11. wendy — yeah man its monsterous. it is easily 3 feet by 4 feet. She looks alienish actually.

    loco – yeah sally pisses me the fuck off. shes always so happy. its like when someone is all happy as soon as you get out of bad. you sort of want to slap them and thats how i feel about sally.. and happy thanksgiving to you too man!

  12. Ha ha! I love this review. I hate The Gilmore Girls. Both mother and daughter made me want to end my life. If I’m ever captured by Al-Qaeda, they can project Gilmore Girls onto the cave wall to torture me.

  13. why thank you ab. they will need to act it out though cause we all know terrorists dont have projectors.

  14. I think the only way to make this show interesting is to have a mother daughter lesbian incest scene….

    Then, I MIGHT watch it….

  15. Thank you for thinking of Talea and going out of your way to piss her off! I hate this fucking show! My mom once tried to get me to watch it, saying that we’re “just like them”. Which we totally would be except that she didn’t have me when she was 16, and her mother isn’t a rich snob, and I don’t go to private school, and my mother works in a hideously boring white collar job for the government, and I don’t even live with her. So, yeah, you know, tons of appeal right there.

  16. I’ve never watched the show, and now, based on your quite lively rendition, i don’t need to. thanks!

  17. I’ve never actually watched this show because there is something about that girl’s face… I want to jumpkick it.

  18. I love your style this is hilarious. You have the show pegged. I am not a fan and you have made me see why much clearer. You put into words why I hate this show and for that I thank you. They all have strange name, the chef , fat chic is Suki I think, like what kind of name is that. The homeless guy is Luke, and there are never poor people named Luke are there? Lorelaiai or something like that is the moms name, who names there kid that? Anyway, thanks. Veronica

  19. haha thanks veronica. i need someone like you to watch gilmore girls with me and just make fun of it the entire time. that would be excellent.

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