Teenage Trick or Treaters

I’m going to make this short because I want to enjoy my halloween.. but I just want to say that teenage trick or treaters piss me off.

You are TOO old. I like candy too. but 15 and above is just too old to be trick or treating… unless, of course, you are a cute girl dressed as a sexy devil. In that case, you can come trick or treating 365 days a year. To all others: I want to take your candy bag and belt you in the face with it.

<3thatpessimist

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18 Responses

  1. I’m with you on this one.
    Pimply teenagers need a kick in the ass, not candy.
    nail, meet head . . .

    ~m

  2. Agreed.

    though i must tell of one exception. when i lived in KC i lived in a bad neighborhood (someone got shot on my block just 3 days after i moved in) and our first halloween we got the typical- you know black kids in their pajamas and face paint- one door opening provided us with 2 young *ahem* women (bout 17-18) and i was about to lay into them and deny them when their man, parked in a low rider infront of our house said, “bitch, you better give them that candy or i will shoot yo’ fucking ass” after an impressive gun brandishing i (a tiny white girl) decided generocity was really in spirit.

    *true story*

  3. I used to be guilty of this, but now I have a job and I can buy candy whenever the hell I want, which is way better than begging for it one day a year.

  4. You have a really good point. And its very tempting too. But I think its funner going out and scaring kids away from my house. Then I find a pleasure candy can’t give me. Have a happy halloween šŸ˜›

    Loco

  5. Hahaha that sounds wrong. Scaring kids is better than eating candy* there we go. Pleasure is too strong. It’s not even that big of a deal.

  6. m, only trick or treating teenagers need a kick to the head. not ALL teenagers

    each, holy shit. I hope you moved away from there. If that happened to me, i think i’d give those two teenagers the entire bag of candy. Hell, i’d even give them some money. You do what you say if a black guy pulls up with a gun.

    Loco, Yeah. I was totally thinking about doing that but I didn’t have a good mask. I was actually thinking of a scenario where my roommate would answer the door normally. While he’s handing out candy, i’d sort of sneak up and “murder” him. I just need the fucking mask.

  7. Pfft, as if older kids would go get candy. Just get your younger siblings to do it! Man, they’re stupid getting it for themselves. That’s why younger siblings were created: to get candy for you. Period.

  8. I hate kids…They should just ban Halloween period….Heh…

  9. wendy, i agree. i wish i had someone to do that. my sister is pretty much my age.. dammit

    steve – if they ban it, we won’t see girls in their slutty halloween costumes.

  10. I agree with Steve. I don’t want their mud and cookie covered hands and snotty faces anywhere near my house. Ew. Kids. Down with Halloween, it just makes them hyper and even more high pitched.
    Broccoli and celery for them all!

  11. I didn’t have any trick-or-treaters this year. I think it has something to do with last year… I on-purposely pushed a kid dressed in a Nascar outfit down the stairs of my building, then proceeded to laugh at him while he cried. It was pretty awesome.

  12. bronsonfive: you are my new hero for that act of violence on a stupidly dressed “youngling” šŸ™‚

    Teenage Trick-or-Treaters are a crime against the goodness of Halloween…

    By the way, I’m a chick (really?), so I don’t respond too excitedly to the “chicks in slutty costumes” phenomenon, BUT, if there was a male-version of that (i.e. blushing man-boys in tight-ass Peter-Pan costumes), I’d be all over that shit….but NOOOO, it’s always the fat 15-year old boys dressed as Obi-wan, or the pimply-faced stick-boys dressed as Aragon from Lord of the Rings…losers…

  13. I’m with Romi on this one… wait. Let me rephrase that. So I am not a chick; I do not have a vagina or breasts (though that would make masturbation so much easier), but I am a bit puzzled by the “chicks as sluts” Halloween phenomenon. Not that I find it terribly hard to look at or anything, I just don’t get how chicks who normally find shit like that appalling to be suddenly normal on this one day.

    With that said, next year, I am going as Linda Blair from the Exorcist. She is my favorite slut. “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!”

  14. romi, you have to understand that if I were to dress up like peter pan for halloween, i’d most likely get my ass kicked. That is not a joke. We also have penises which just wouldnt fit right in that costume.

    bronson – yeah i don’t get it either as to why girls dress like that. All i gotta say is that i’m not complaining and it only makes it 10X hotter if the girl doesn’t usually dress like that or its typically against her moral beliefs.

  15. that’s IT!! after hearing all my peeps dissing on halloween and kids in general, i’m selling my kids to the gypsies (or as my soon-to-be-ex-daughter calls them, Dipsies)

    I’ll do what I have to… my rep depends on it.

  16. haha i guess you have personally threatened her so she knows the word huh

  17. Not many of us celebrate it anyway, because it’s an American thing, not an Aussie thing. The rest of us just go out into the city, so we just deal with the kids that come around.

  18. Um, I don’t see you anywhere on MY halloween post, entitled “I am a sick motherfucker and I LOVE IT.” You may have read it and just not commented, which is fine, but if you haven’t, I just wanted to point you in that direction. Because, my good sir, if I came to your door dressed like that, I would DAMN well expect some candy. ALL of your candy. Or I would get you with my coat hangers.

    Right. Thank you for your attention.

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