Corporate Phone Support

Yeah you knew this topic would be coming sooner or later right? Nothing brightens your fucking day more to know that if you’re having problems, the company of your choice is just a phone call away. Seems like a great idea.. except when everything blows up in your face when you need a simple questioned answered.

Now everyone has bad experiences with support calls, but for some reason I always seem to get the shit end of the stick. Now the following is a little excerpt from one of my calls. This guy was pure moron. Oh and by the way.. this was a rep from Bank of America.

Customer Service Rep: Sir, as a security precaution i’d like to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?

Me: Ok

(So the rep asks me my name and my birthdate and all that normal stuff)

Rep: Ok sir, may I have your address please?

Me: Well its either 222 West St, Dayton, Ohio or 24 Dyar Ave, Cranston, RI. I just moved about a month ago so i’m trying to remember if I had updated my records or not. The reason i’m calling is that I can’t login.. so i’m unable to check.

Rep: I’m sorry sir. As a security precaution to protect our customers, you will need to visit your nearest Bank of America to verify your identity.

Me: …. But i’m sure I gave you the correct address. I’m just unsure which I have registered with the bank. Wouldn’t the rest of my info. suffice?

Rep: Sir you will need to go to your nearest Bank of America (*CLICK*)

Now I was just ticked the fuck off. So I call again and I just gave the new rep 1 of the 2 addresses that I used on my last call. I guessed my address right and passed their security test.. What kind of ass-backwards security system is this?

There are plenty of more calls that I’ve had where reps have f’d me over pretty badly.. and i think in upcoming posts ill quote more calls i’ve had with them. I’d say about 75% of them have been with Bank of America actually…

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17 Responses

  1. I love the way you write – an f bomb dropped with precision here and there. But not just because you can. Because you need to make a point about the ridiculous ways of corporate security in America today. I also love the tag line under the B of A logo: We Like The Cock. For sure they do.

  2. This happens to me every time I call my bank, as I’ve moved 13 times in 7 years. They ask me for my phone number and I’m like, “Can you just give me the area code? Is it a 416? 905? 519? 647? 306?…..Um, no, I’m not joking” Then I have to go to the bank. And I hate going to the bank. I hate the tellers who don’t speak fucking english. I hate their dumb questions. I just want my money!!

  3. I have similar stories.
    BOA blows. Pure and simple.
    ~m

  4. At least he/she spoke English! Tons of times I got someone on the other end of the line I can barely understand.

  5. They asked you for your address? What’s wrong with them? Can’t they read the damn screen?

  6. B of A loves the cock, amongst other things. I think I’ve been with them for almost 10 years and I’ve had similar problems with their security precautions. All you have to do is guess.

  7. My most troubling experiences with customer-support always involve the Indian men on the other line, conversing with me through those call-centers in India. I guess they realize that I’m also brown from my name, and they exploit that to the full extent; like they’ll ask me who my favorite “Bollywood star” is, and which village my ancestors are from..the whole thing becomes very uncomfortable, until I eventually hang up, having received no customer service at all…diabolical.

  8. bronson – yeah besides their tech support I’ve had no probs with them. Their online banking is pretty useful and they are a large company so I trust them.. Just hate having to call them if something goes wrong.

    romi – haha that is pretty funny. i usually don’t get an indian guy but some black girl straight out of harlem who also doesn’t speak english. I feel like “this person should not be in charge of my money” . I should just hang up and try again until I get someone that understands what i’m trying to say.

  9. Dear Pessimist,

    Your delightfully angry and bitter. I love the way you write.

    Rage on, my brother!

    Laurie Kendrick

  10. I’ve never had them hang up on me…It’s usually me hanging up on them…

    And thanks, I’m angry just thinking about these assholes….

  11. i was actually pretty pissed when I got done writing that.

  12. Yo Romi, so which village ARE you from?

  13. Paul: as I told the Indian thick-accented Customer Service Rep: “I am from Village “Earth”, and that’s all you need to know mister”…okay, I’m hanging up now…

  14. i went to do a change of address last week at my bank. the girl at at the window gives me a slip. i ask her

    “do i just fill this out here and give it back to you?”

    “no, you have to wait for a rep at one of the desks.”

    “well if i go home and fill this out do i still have to come in and wait?”

    “No, you can just turn it in to me or another teller.”

    “AHHHH.. thanks for the insight.”

    fucking morons.

  15. yeah i hate them. I think I will post another one of my bank stories in a few weeks.. you will love that one…

  16. Yo, now that my BFF (Joebec) loves your blog, you are set for life; seriously, she is the glue holding this blogging-society together ๐Ÿ˜‰ … I mean I love your blog too, but I’m more of a selfish “me, me, me” kinda bitch ๐Ÿ˜‰

  17. Yeah I love joebec’s blog. I have to say her blog is the most similar to mine that I have seen on here. It’s so good. I’d like to just hang out with her and listen to her bitch i think. that would be funny

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