Stupid Phrases and Words

 I come across a whole shitload of words and key phrases that piss me off.  I’ve spent a good half hour of my work time today compiling this list.  I think this is enough for now, but there are definitely more.  If I can think of them, I’ll make a sequel entry.  OK enough with this BS introduction shit, just start reading already.

from a ___ standpoint -  Yeah this makes sense. But shit you can’t just plug in any word you want in here. People throw in the first thing that comes into their minds.  “From a hamburgers standpoint, that seems like a lot of ketchup”.  WTF did you just say?  How did you even get hired. Hamburgers don’t have a fucking stand point. Their standpoint is in my mouth.

guesstimate – This one is really fucking cute.  I hear it all the time. They think they are clever cause its a word combo. OMG let me pat you on the head cutie pie.  If you ever use this word around me again, I will guesstimate how long it will take me to shove my foot up your ass.

Without further delay - Oh thank you for delaying me further by saying this.  Is it necessary?  Lets just say you never said this stupid phrase and just started the puppet show.  Would I even notice?  I hate you.

willy nilly -This just sounds stupid.  It’s almost like you are saying some guy’s name but changed it at the last second to be funny.  I left work all willy nilly cause I might have had more to do.  If you say this phrase, you will have no friends and you will be all willy nilly about whether or not you should go play in traffic.

lends itself well to - Last I heard when you lend something to someone, they borrow it.  If you are saying the software lends itself well to documentation, I will assume you mean the documentation has sex with with the software and then pays for it afterward.   From an asshole standpoint, I guesstimate that I lend myself well to uppercutting you in the jaw.

keep your eyes peeled – OK KIDS! We are on a safari adventure now so keep your eyes peeled for the elephants! “OK DAD! WE WILL!”  You dumb ass kids don’t realize that eyes can’t be peeled. They aren’t fucking vegetables.  Here I will show you how to peel a carrot and you can do the same to  your eyes. We will see who the smart one is then. Damn kids.

things of that nature -  I had a woodshop teacher that kept saying this shit over and over.  “There are tools over there and things of that nature”  “You need a hallpass to go to the bathroom and things of that nature”  “That is a nice piece of hard oak and things of that nature”.  Knock it off and carve me a 2 x 4 to slam against your face.

who woulda thunk it? – This is a sentence idiots like to use.  I would actually recommend using this because it will be easier for me to judge your intelligence.  Who woulda  thunk it??

decadent – I hear this shit everytime I see a commercial for a brownie sundae or something.  What the fuck does it even mean?  Is it a decadent cake?  Am I a decadent young man?  Is this a decadent commercial.  Go fuck yourself and let me eat the decadent brownie sundae you piece of shit.

 There will be more words. I promise…

53 Responses

  1. [...] Pessimist hates  stupid phrases and words.  Some phrases to avoid, courtesy of That  [...]

  2. Dude you like totally forgot “Make no mistake about it..” that one pisses me off more than a monkey with ebola hiding under my bed.

    I mean that don’t even make sense… and when people say it I just want to grab them by the short and curly’s and scream in their face “like since when do you work in the White House fucktard?”.

  3. ohh shiit. That is a GOOD one man. Make no mistake about it, I’ll have to mention it in my next post cause there are a shit load of other words I can’t stand.

  4. at work we compiled a list the other day about sports casters stupid sayings……here are some.

    You can’t say enough about him”

    They’ve got great team chemistry”

    They have to come together as a team”

    They know how to win”

    They have to generate some offense”

    You can feel the electricity … “

    He’s got to step up now”

  5. hahha “they have to generate some offense” and “come together as a team” are the best ones. that got me laughing.

  6. the one I have always hated the most is

    “he lost the handle”

    I have never seen a ball with a handle before.

  7. “If you ever use this word around me again, I will guesstimate how long it will take me to shove my foot up your ass.”

    According to my calculations, it wouldn’t take very long.

  8. very nice wendy.. :)

  9. Ugh, I hate it when people pronounce coincidence like “co-winky-dink.” I’m not even sure that it makes sense when you read it, but that doesn’t matter. It sure as hell doesn’t make sense when you say it.

  10. How about, “We’ve got him…” and “Excelsior”? They give me shivers!

  11. There are definitely more, but this by far the most funniest and true entry I have ever read hahaha. These words really bug me, I know because everytime I hear this phrases I can’t help but just ask myself in my head “Why did the we just say that fucking phrase?” Yah, there are plenty other phrases. And if I can think of any others I’ll let you know. I’m sure you’ll be happy to talk shit about it. That’s all they deserve. Whoever made this phrases deserves to choke. And die.

    Loco

  12. desktop – YEAH! cowinkydink is a big one. Its another one that’s supposed to sound cute or something. fucking women and their stupid words.

    thanks loco.. seriously let me know if there are others. i’ll be more than happy to talk shit about it. glad you liked this entry

    Virgilus – I really have no idea what you just said.

  13. Everything happens for a reason….When ever I hear that I want to stab people in the neck….

  14. that is hilarious how everyone has phrases they hate. i thought i was the only one

  15. I always hated when people said “same difference”. How can something be the same if it’s different you fucking idiots?

  16. hahaha. shit i wish i had all of these phrases when i began this post

  17. This was one’s small but it really crawls up my ass:

    “So and so”

    “Oh I was out to dinner yesterday with Alex, and Beth, and “so and so””..I swear, if I ever find out that I was the “so and so” in someone’s description, I will fucking peel back their eyes and punch their willy-nillys in a very decadent fashion…

    Fuck.

  18. haha yeah that is a weird one cause it doesnt even make sense. i hope you extract their willy nillys from their body.

  19. I hate the word amazing. It’s so fucking overused. Start paying attention to how much people use it. Not everything can be amazing. Sometimes it can just be good, or cool.

  20. thats true sexual… Everyone would be like “that concert was amazing”… If everything is amazing… then nothing can be amazing.

  21. Dude, I swear to god, when I thought of shit I hate “that concert was amazing” was what came to my mind. Weird.

  22. I despise the word ‘synnergy’. Come on team, it’s all about synnergy!
    I want to synnergetically punch them. I do not qualify it as a real word. It is made up corporate team-building crap.

  23. it sounds sweet though.. SYNERGYYYYY!!!

  24. No.

  25. fuck.

    “rule of thumb” (see Boondock Saints)

    “I’m fixin’ to”- my southern cousins say this, bitch its not “fixin’ to” its “getting ready to” and I’m getting ready to shove that shit where you don’t want it.

    “touch base” fucking hell no, you are not touching anything with me, douchebags.

    whenever my boss uses “we” as in “we need to get this done” or “we need to pay more attention”. What is that, the royal fucking “we”, because “we” aren’t doing anything you asshole, “I” am doing it and you damn well know it so stop using “we” or start paying me more!

  26. haha. People say “we” so it sounds like they aren’t being commanding. its BS and I notice it too.

    The generic emails here also always start with “Hi All,”.. That pisses me off too cause who the hell says “Hi All”.

    LOL, touch base is a good one. Where the fuck is the base? What is this? Capture the flag?

  27. Oh man, “who woulda thunk it” is so horrible. I haven’t heard it for awhile, and not its horribilness is all coming back to me.

  28. DEATH TO THE WORD: “utilize”! Read a copy of Strunk and White who will both tell you that the word “use” functions more effectively, in less syllables, and with less pretense than that ugly, verbal canker soar above.

  29. Editorial snafu (is that on the list of words we avoid?): canker sore … not soar. Ulcerations of a mucous membranes do not fly.

  30. Yeah there’s a whole bunch of normal words like “utilize” that I never use. I’ll hear someone say it and think to myself “I’d never use that word”.. I also say “too” instead of “as well” all the time. Thanks for visiting.

    Snafu is a sweet word but I don’t use it.

  31. TP, if you had bothered to look up the word “Excelsior”, you would know why I hate it so much. Plus, the phrase of “We’ve got him..” first appearing during Fahrenheit 9/11 is now appearing in things like Border Security and The Force (an Oz reality TV show to do with police) like a virus. Now you know what I’m saying :)

  32. SNAFU is an acronym. I fucking hate when people don’t put that shit in all caps.

  33. maybe we should also put periods in between the letters or write (Acronym) next to it every time we use it. I thought it was understood the word is an acronym.

  34. I fucking HATE when people say, “same difference…” NO. No it’s not you fuck. It can’t be the same AND different at the same time. Fuck I hate that shit. I want to punch anyone who says that.

  35. LMAO I have to subscribe to this blog. I like the way you think! My friends and I compiled a similar list of stupid phrases at work, like “think outside the box” and “putting out fires” and “just a heads up” and “touch base”….uuuuuggggghhhhhh…..

  36. omfg this is soo funny
    well
    i had a teacher
    who always said
    “hello delightful crew”
    omg i hated that!

  37. idk if someone already said this but what ever,

    when people say after finding or looking for somthing :
    “it was in the last place you would have looked” or somthing along those lines

    NO SHIT, how many fucking times do you find somthing, then keep looking for it?

  38. o ur acronyms reminded me

    what do you guys think of FUBAR? i first heard in in Saving Private Ryan(beastly movie b.t.w [ACRONYM])

  39. I’m a computer science major so we actually use the word “foo” which is short for fubar a lot. I don’t use the word on a regular basis but I don’t mind it since the military is pretty hardcore.

  40. A few things here:

    Yep – “Think outside the box”. That’s one that makes me want to take the person who said it and put THEM in a box. A box six feet under.

    Anything that comes out of Keith Olbermann’s mouth. It’s readily apparent this guy cannot have an IQ over 70.
    All emotion – no substance. Like a 12-year old.

    Why is there a “war” on everything? A “war on drugs”.
    A “war on poverty”, a “war on fat”, etc., etc. Google “the war on” – you’ll get over 1.5 million assorted hits, most of which are ridiculous.

    And the next time I see a TV show come on with the word “extreme” in its title, I swear I’ll throw the sofa through it.

  41. dave – hahaha. that is some good stuff. yeah those sports announcers need to stfu or think about what they say. and yeah Xtreme and extreme are overused so much. i gotta check out your blog.

  42. “as it were”…people who use this expression are pompous and stupid, the worst combination of traits.

  43. Haha, this stuff is amazing. It gave me some pretty great laughs.

    I can’t stand it when people say something to me that I don’t get or understand, and they say “Hah, that just went right over your head.” or “You’re too young to understand.”

    I didn’t see it go over my head. Damn, I wish I had that speech-ray-vision that you so obviously have.

    And how the fuck is “I’m too young” a justifiable reason to refuse to explain something to me? What, am I going to suddenly at some point in two years from now magically gain the ability to understand it?

    “You have gained 2 years of life. *Bleep!* You have gained a level! You have also gained the skill ‘understand’.”

    I think not. More than half the time, I find out a few days later from someone else, and I understand without a problem anyway. -_-

  44. I hate it when people will say lol instead of laughing

  45. I also hate it when people say “okey-dokey then” those kind of people need to get a life and get laid…

  46. I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:

  47. This marketing company made a bunch of pics with alot of these sayings. It’s kinda funny. Boy there are bunch here that I hate like synergy!

  48. I swear to go is over used a lot too

  49. “Grow the business” – improper word of the use grow and very overused in meetings.

    “Parking lot issue” – used in meetings to note anything that was unresolved – I mean why not just call it an “unresolved issue?”

    “Moving forward” – overused and crawled under my skin at meetings.

    “Proactive” – overused in both business speak and in leftist circles, and the prefix is useless.

    “Nuculer” – as opposed to Nuclear – I’ve even had a friend try to convince me that it was a valid.

  50. Wrap my head around it
    Nuggets of information
    Open that can of worms
    The tallest midget
    The likes of that bunch
    Just for coaching
    Starting a sentence with… Not to be ignorant… just means that you are being ignorant.
    I could go on for days but I have to go rape someone with my scissors.

  51. I just came across this and I had to add. People that use acronyms but incorrectly as listed here really bother me. If you’re going to make your life easier by using an acronym then don’t waste time throwing in an extra word.

    ATM machine
    UPC code
    PIN number
    KFC Chicken

  52. you dumbass. >=/

  53. i hate it when people say supper. like why cant u say dinner what the fuck is a supper…

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