Small dogs

I’ll start out by saying I love dogs in general. I have two of them. They are the best… but they are also not small.

There is something that irks me about walking into someones house and finding a giant-rat-like animal licking my ankles. I find that not only do these animals not resemble dogs, but they don’t really act like dogs either. At least not a dog with any real level of intelligence.
small dogs suck

I’ve decided to make a small list of reasons why I don’t like these 12 pound rodents.

#1: High pitched bark – Who wants to listen to that all day? The sad thing is that many of these small dogs think they are tough so of course they bark every chance they get. Sometimes I use them to tune the high F# key on my piano. Besides that, it is worthless.

#2: Lack of intelligence: I’m not going to generalize all small dogs. But, from what i’ve seen, I can say with a great degree of confidence that many small breeds of dog have an even smaller brain. E.G. My friend’s dog constantly runs into his glass door. The dog has been doing this for years. YEARS! I do have to say it’s kind of funny, so maybe this technically isn’t a fault.

#3: Like to get stepped on: Being both small and stupid is not the best combination. Dogs of this size must enjoy getting trampled because they always wait for me to come through the door and strategically place themselves under my feet. If you want to avoid costly vet bills because Fido has the Nike logo engraved in his head, don’t get a small dog.

#4: Annoying bite: Now no one really wants to get bitten by a dog. But the purpose of a bite is to inflict pain. God forbid anyone would ever try to kidnap your dog, you would hope your dog would be able to deter it in some shape or form. A bite from a small dog sort of feels similar to accupuncture. You get scared at first but then realize it isn’t so bad. This is not a good trait to have.. unless of course your dog bites you all the time.

So in conclusion, small dogs piss me off. Does anyone agree??

25 Responses

  1. I hate most dogs….They are too damn loud…

    I’m more of a cat guy myself….They need very little care…Heh..

  2. I still have to side with dogs… but if the choice was a cat vs a SMALL dog.. i’d choose cats hands down.

  3. A Family that lives under my parents owns a chihuahua. Let me say, THAT is the most annoying dog in the world. Not only does it bark EVERY time you try to enter the corridor, but it does so without fail every time. Its as if it sit by the door waiting for someone to enter. I used to come home at like 2am and that shit would start barking and wake up everyone. Sometimes i just wanted to kidnap that thing and throw it in the hudson river.

    Here’s the funny thing, even though it barks like crazy at you, IF the neighbor’s door opens and you get a glimpse of it, the thing whelps and runs away.

  4. I love all dogs (animals) but I do agree with the barking thing. It is the fault of the owner who does not do anything to stop the behavior!

  5. Yea seriously, i can sometimes hear someone yelling in spanish at it but they don’t do a good enough job of training it. I don’t feel bad for it because they take damn good care of it.

  6. Small dogs are terrible; and the worst part is, they get the most “humanized glorification” out of all the living creatures; leather jackets, hair bows, sweaters, booties, spa days…seriously, they should just be fed to larger animals who need more protein.

    PS: I saw your “profanity-laced” comments on A-Hole’s blog, hence why I was attracted to visit :-) This will probably be the first of many visits, if that’s alright with you ;-)

  7. Great Post! I’m a big dog lover too.
    Man that Romi gets around! She’s a hoot.
    I’m here via Talea.
    Blah, Blah, Blah
    Just ignore me now I’m ranting like a loon.
    8)

  8. Love dogs in general but the small ones?
    I say stick a spit up their pooper and fire up the rotisserie.
    They mini “almost” dogs hump stuff too.
    Heard a story about a Great Dane that ate the mini-poodle that lived next door to him.
    I’d pay ten bucks just to see that.
    ~m

  9. I gotta agree with the humping thing. my friends dog used to hump the shit out of every pillow in that house. Again, that was also kind of amusing unless i got tired or something

  10. my stepsister has this little mutant chihuahua and i swear she’s the size of a football. i’ve noticed that every time i go over there now, the dog resembles a football more and more. now, i’m a girl, but i LOVE football and have been wanting to practice my mad punting skills. i think i may have found the perfect ball. i just hope my stepsister don’t get too upset about it.

  11. its very easy to practice your punting skills with small dogs because they love to be kicked. and they always come back for more!

  12. I also love all dogs, but I prefer small dogs. They don’t jump up on people and knock them over (please read my blog “HOW CAN I GET MAMA TO STOP JUMPING ON ME!). They may have a higher pitch but you can’t hear them all the way down the block. If you train them, you can stop them from barking all the time. When you walk them, they don’t leave huge piles of poop on the neighbors lawn, and if you get them neutered or spayed, they won’t hump.

    To each his own.

  13. what about how dumb they look? or the fear I’d break the dog’s back by stepping on them? trained or not, i would much prefer a rat because they are cheaper.

  14. my girlfriend has a japanese chin. she always says “come to mommy” as if its her daughter. this dog pee and pooed all over the house before we moved in together. i LOVE dogs. always had them. but my dogs were labs, boxers, etc. in other words, i had DOGS, not toys. small dogs are helpless, annoying and disgusting. how we went from the wolf to these little furry lap creatures is beyond me, but small dogs save for a select FEW lack loyalty, pack mentality, protectivness, and personality. they get treated as if they can do no wrong because everyone that sees them has the same reaction. AWWWWWWW. so annoying. i hate small dogs, and in particular japanese chins. they are cat like, and while i have no beef with cats, to see a dog lick its paw and whip its head like a cat would is insane. this dog because its so “cute” was never disciplined and begs, poops, pees, sits on couches, beds, chairs and has no respect for anyone. the most i was able to do with it was make it scarred shitless of me so it stays off the bed when im in it, stays out of the room when im in there, and when i let it out, it poops or pees and then stares at me until i go inside or move. its face has those outward staring eyes. makes you want to palm it in your hand and squeeze. something about a small dog makes me want to kill lol. but not really. im still an animal lover….naw, theyre not an animal. theyre a princess girls bday gift. small dogs are a mistake of 1000′s of years of inbreeding and the end result in people ruining what a dog should be. a protect, a scrap food cleaner, a pact companion and a friend. small dogs are simply over weight rats. i fear i have many years to come with this gay ass dog and after she dies or accidentally gets run over several times with my car…eh hem…shell want another one right away.
    in any case, ill just have to piss her off and buy me my german sheppard! >=)

  15. Some guy, I pretty much have to agree with every thing you just said. I’m pretty sure we are on the same wavelength here. The worst thing is that a lot of the small dogs have a dominant sense to them and try to become the leader. I can’t deal with that. If you want something this small, i’d recommend a cat. If you want a dog, get a dog.. not a furry rat.

  16. Small dogs…what an extreme page devoted to these little yapping monsters…*SIIIGHS* Where do I begin…You know, it’s something like…”Will you STOP bouncing around my leg, attempting to wag your tail but ending up wiggling your whole body, licking your nose (which happens to be about two millimeters from your mouth), and BARKING AT ME?!?!?!?” Not to mention, when you attempt to hug one of these little puff balls, all you get is air, and by the time you reach the dog, your arms are all tangled up? I like SUBSTANCE, people, not several square inches of hyperactve fur and noise…sheeesh.

  17. BOOOO! I love my small Chihuahuas. They do none of that stuff.

  18. I love all dogs, although small dogs may be cute, but they are physically worthless. Every time someone buys a ‘miniature’ dog, they are funding biological editing, some scientist looking to get rich, is somewhere putting genes into that dog to make it’s babies smaller, then he sells them to the people who just think their so damn cute they have to buy one.

    Release a ‘miniature’ dog in the forest, and it would get it’s ass kicked by a fucking rabbit. Seriously, dogs aren’t nearly as stealthy as cats, so cats CAN be small, they rely on strength and people need to realize that.

  19. dude Ben, everything you said is totally right. Small dogs are bred ONLY to be companions for the most part. It’s retarded. In other words, they are useless. And I do not doubt that a chihuahua wouldnt survive the night if it were left in a forest lol.

  20. Ok I have a family member that has a miniture Pomerainian. This thing is the most over protected spoiled piece of you know what ive EVER seen. Im like most on here. I LOVE Dogs. There is nothing like a true friend that will help protect you and your family. But this is no dog. its a rat. Sure it can be trained to do stupid pet tricks, and look so very ridic…i mean CUUTTTEE in a hat an sweater. This Dog is constantly under foot just waiting to get crushed. Occasionally when noone is around i snarl at it and bear my teeh to scare the ever living poop out of it. This is just so i can enjoy a piece and quiet time relaxing without the yappy rat in the room with me. The Fact that these small dogs get treated better than a LOT of humans appalls me on a deep level. Why would we support an alredy rich breeder to get a dog that has soo many inbreeding issues already instead of giving the money invested in the dog to a homeless shelter? you want a companion? Foster a child or be a big brother or sister. you want a dog. get a dog not a toy.

  21. Ehem> i’d have to disagree with you on the inteligence. Not all small gos are stupid and I’ve met some damn stupid big dogs too. Ive also met some humans who make dogs look brilliant. My point? Most of these qualities can be aplied to other animals too. Cats? Don’t even get me started. they can be quiet the pain in the ass, but i love my cats. HOw about the dead mice and/or birds on the carpet. NOw you can say they can be trained not to do this, but dogs can be trained not to bite ankles too.

  22. small dogs rock

  23. thatpessimist, you’re a legend dude. I really enjoyed your post, I agree with everything you say 100%, and it’s really good to know that somebody shares my opinion on this topic.

    My girlfriend has an annoying, pathetic Jack Russell looking thing. I’m not actually sure if its a Jack Russell or not, but it looks just like one. It has a black patch over it’s eye, and I honestly can’t stress how much I HATE THE F#####G THING!

    It is constantly treated like royalty, and every time I’m at my girlfriend’s family’s place, I’m expected to pussyfoot around it like its some kind of queen. They know I don’t like the bloody thing, so they try to ‘force’ me to like it. They thrust it at me and try to make me cuddle and kiss it and rub its belly, and when I refuse they just say something like “awwwww look at her little face, you’ve hurt her feelings! Its ok Lilly, he’s just an idiot because he doesn’t know how smart and beautiful you are!”.. I then become completely excluded while everyone praises the dog for being so clever and cute, while i stand there thinking “ok, so who’s the human here…?”. Its gotten to the point where I’ve found myself unwillingly stroking and holding it when it is thrust upon me, just so I can at least be treated equally with the bloody dog for a while.

    Some people say that pack mentality has been completely bred out of small roden.. *COUGH* … I mean small dogs. This may be the case with some, but in the case of my girlfriend’s family’s dog I must disagree. This piece of sh*t excuse for a dog has a very strong pack mentality. And the irritating thing is, it thinks its at the TOP of the pack. (The pack being everyone in the house, including myself). It sits there royally in it’s “cute” little basket/throne in the dining room, and gets everything it demands, including food at the dinner table. (they let it lick off the plates…. disgusting). It sleeps on any bed it wants to sleep on, and it jumps on you while you’re watching TV. If I push it off of me I get yelled at. It licks your ankles and bites your toes, and jumps up off the ground to lick your hands while you’re walking. Its the most pathetic, disgusting, annoying and helpless organism I have ever encountered.

    I found myself alone with the stupid thing today. It was sitting in it’s little throne as usual, so I walked over and gave it a swift BOOT across the room… And later on in the day I ‘accidentally’ trod on it. That seems to have fixed it for a while. Its scared of me now, and everytime it sees me, it jumps out of its little throne and hides under the table or my girlfriend’s mother’s feet and cowers. And to me, that raises the question; What would a REAL dog do…??

    Don’t get me wrong, I am completely against animal cruelty. I absolutely love ALL animals, ESPECIALLY dogs. I have a Golden Retriever myself, and in my opinion they are a wonderful breed! Along with German Shepherds, Labradors, Collies and most other ‘normal-sized’ dogs. But can this piece of sh*t really be classified as a dog? Let alone an animal? Let alone a bloody microbe?? (although it is similar in size)…

    People may think I have issues… And to those people I must say that I agree with you 100%. My issue is small dogs, and this one in particular. They are the epitomy of helpless, pathetic filth in the universe, and I WILL NOT be made to tolerate them.

    Peace.

    Josh

  24. You guys are silly.
    My dog is adorable and an absolute joy. :)
    He’s a pomeranian, fluffy as fckkk,
    and all that jazz.
    His bark is deep for his size though, and he doesn’t bark much.
    He is protective, though.

    Granted, I am 16. But I love small dogs, and I can’t wait to get a chihuahua. :)

    PS- I have an English Mastiff, too.
    Well, he’s my moms.
    And all he’s good for is looking like a retard and slobbering
    while stomping around the house breaking things.
    When he shakes his head, slobber goes everywhere,
    and the stuff is like super glue.
    It dries somewhere near our ceiling and it’s there for ever.

    Big dogs suck.

  25. If you are a REAL dog lover, you love ALL DOGS whether big or small. I’ve learned that small dogs have HUGE hearts and their owners take more care to make sure they are well behaved. My small 15lb terrier actually saved me and my other baby dog from a vicious attack from a large dog. We were all walking down the sidewalk in front of my house when the neighbor’s new dog got loose and proceeded to jump toward us (He’s a chow mix). My little terrier dog immediately jumped in his path to distract him with her incessant yapping which allowed me and my other little dog to get away. if this big dog had gotten hold of my other baby dog, she would have been a dead duck as she is very tiny (under 10lbs). Nevertheless, I saw my 15lb terrier getting mauled by this ‘big vicious dog’ whose owner couldn’t control it. Eventually my terrier got lose from his jaws and ran screaming down the street leaving a bloody path for us to find her. She ended up under a car, covered in blood, but still snarling. It took a couple of operations and several weeks of recuperating for her to heal. I am ever grateful to her for her protectiveness towards me and my baby dog. I would not have enjoyed going through a series of rabies vaccinations if that dog had bitten me as i’ve heard how painful they are to humans. Long story short, that big dog was not well trained and attacked more neighbors before it was finally taken from it’s owner. It’s a sad situation, but I’ve found alot of big dog owners get huge potentially dangerous dogs and don’t train them which was the case here.

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