Crazy phones

So i’m a software engineer for a living.. I obviously love technology but phones these days are getting a little out of control. I’ve always been the kind of guy who just gets the cheapest phone available. I really only care that I can talk on it and text message. If it has an added bonus like a camera phone, thats great.. But seriously.. the iphone? What the fuck. Do you really need to watch movies on your phone? No the answer is no. you don’t.

You got by without it your whole life, why do you all of a sudden need this luxury. Oh and the screen tilts sideways when you tilt the phone!! thats fucking amazing!. Listen shit face, i don’t care. If you had a laptop, you would have a screen 3x the size of that and for probably around the same price.

Common Arguments for the Iphone

1. “BUT JAY! I CAN PUT IT IN MY POCKET LOL!!” – so the fuck what? does that justify the cost? no. no it doesn’t. Bitch.

2. “LOL THERES APPS I CAN DOWNLOAD” – you stupid asshole. Get a laptop and you can have all the apps you want. and a whole ton of them are free.

3. IT LOOKS COOL – who the fuck cares??? I don’t think girls are gonna come up to suck your dick because they see you with an iphone. If that were true, i’d have about 10 iphones.

And that concludes my post about the shitty and useless iphone.

NEW POST – LOUD NEIGHBORS

Thats right bitches. I’m back I was syncing my gmail mail in outlook and i saw all this shit from wordpress.. that gave me a slight erection and i gained the strength to start writing again.

Ok. So over the past few years ive graduated from college, i’ve gotten a corporate job as a software developer for the military, and i’ve moved to the jersey shore… and i moved again after i got here… but why? let me tell you why.

LOUD ASS LESBIAN LADY LIVING UPSTAIRS.

Thats right bitches. I still know how to use html to post pics on this shit. But anyway. The above picture is the best look a like picture I can find of this lesbian upstairs. She got home from her job as a nurse (a loud ass lesbian nurse) around 11 pm and it was all down hill from there. At about 11:30 her african boyfriend would come over. This was like clockwork. and then all i heard were stomping around and gorilla like noises eminating from above my bedroom until 3 am usually.

But thats not all.

She would have these kids come over. I dont know where they came from but apparently their favorite past time was hammering the floor. cause those fucking kids would hammer the floor for hours and hours. sometimes they would play tag with sledge hammers it seemed as my walls would shake.

This persisted for months before I was like “YO LET ME GET OUT OF HERE LOL” and the manager of my apartment complex agreed and was like “I hate that lady too she always complains about her heat” and i was like “you should just cut it off”.. A long pause followed this statement. Note: When I am angry I tend to write run-on sentences.

And that concludes my entry on loud ass lesbian neighbors and their interracial boyfriends.. and their annoying ass grandkids, great grandkids or adopted grandkids that come over and smash their heads into the floor.

hottest campus police report ever?

I usually don’t sway from my negative writings about life, but this is an exception.  This was sent to everyone at my campus:

This morning at approximately 8:50am, a student reported she was inappropriately touched by another female in the north stairwell located in the Hugh Carey Building. The unidentified female appeared to be 18 to 21 years-old with wavy blonde hair; wearing a dark-colored waist-length coat, and black-rimmed glasses. This incident remains under investigation and the Monroe County Sherriff’s Office is advised.

is that not the hottest police report ever??